What to do when you can’t sleep? Everyone who has tossed in bed with eyes open and watched the clock minutes creep by has wondered this. Insomnia is frustrating, and the frustration itself makes the situation even harder. The more you try to fall asleep, the further sleep seems to slip away.
In this article we go through concrete methods you can try tonight. We don’t talk about the simple “relax and sleep well” advice but research-backed practical tips that help both with falling asleep and what to do when you’re lying in bed awake.
Sleep hygiene: get the basics in order
Sleep hygiene means habits and conditions that support sleeping. It alone isn’t enough to treat chronic insomnia, but without good sleep hygiene other methods don’t work properly either. Think of it as the foundation on which everything else is built.
Regular sleep rhythm
One of the most effective sleep improvement methods is simple: get up at the same time every morning. This applies to weekends too. The temptation to sleep in on days off is great, but it confuses the body’s internal clock and makes falling asleep on Sunday evening more difficult.
A regular wake time anchors the daily rhythm and helps the body know when it’s time to be awake and when it’s time to sleep. A few weeks of consistent rhythm makes falling asleep easier.
Bedroom for sleeping
The bedroom should be a place that the brain associates with sleep. Not work, not phone scrolling, not watching television. When the bedroom is used only for sleeping, the brain learns that going there means sleep is coming.
Practical tips for optimizing the bedroom:
- Temperature: The ideal sleeping temperature is 16–19°C (60–67°F). Body temperature must drop to enable falling asleep.
- Darkness: Use blackout curtains or a sleep mask. Even a small amount of light can disturb melatonin production.
- Quiet: If the environment is noisy, try earplugs or white noise.
- Mattress and pillow: An uncomfortable mattress alone can explain poor sleep. The lifespan of a mattress is about 8–10 years.
Screen time and blue light
Stop using screens an hour before bedtime. The blue light from phones, tablets, and computers delays melatonin secretion and signals to the brain that it’s still day. If a one-hour break feels impossible, start with half an hour. Using your phone’s night mode or blue-light-filtering glasses is better than nothing but not as effective as avoiding screens entirely.
Caffeine and alcohol
Avoid caffeine after the early afternoon. The half-life of coffee is about 5–6 hours, so a cup drunk at 2 p.m. still affects you at 8 p.m. If you’re sensitive to caffeine, the cutoff time may be even earlier. Try a coffee-free period for a few weeks and see if sleep quality changes.
Alcohol should be avoided a few hours before bedtime. Although alcohol speeds up falling asleep, it significantly weakens sleep quality and causes nighttime wakings in the second half of the night.
What to do when you can’t sleep in bed
This is perhaps the most important part of this article. Many make the very mistake that worsens insomnia: they stay lying in bed and try to force sleep. The following principles are based on cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), which according to clinical care guidelines is the first-line treatment for insomnia.
The 15–20 minute rule
If you haven’t fallen asleep in about 15–20 minutes, get out of bed. Don’t look at the clock — estimate. Go to another room and do something calm: read a book (not a phone), listen to calm music or a podcast, do breathing exercises. Return to bed only when you feel clear tiredness.
This sounds illogical, but it’s one of the most effective techniques of CBT-I. Its purpose is to break the connection between the bed and staying awake in the brain. When the bed reconnects with falling asleep, sleep starts coming more easily.
Stop counting the night time
Watching the clock at night is one of the most insomnia-worsening habits. The thought “if I fall asleep now, I’ll still get five hours of sleep” adds performance pressure and anxiety, both of which prevent falling asleep. Turn the clock out of sight or move it to the other side of the room. The alarm will go off either way, and knowing the time at night doesn’t serve any good purpose.
Don’t try to fall asleep
Falling asleep is a paradoxical thing: the more you try, the harder it becomes. Sleep isn’t a willed function. It comes when body and mind are ready for it. Trying activates the mind and adds tension, which is the opposite of falling asleep.
Instead, try to let go of the need to fall asleep. Say to yourself: “I’m not trying to fall asleep. I’m just lying here and letting my body rest.” Just the body’s rest is valuable, even if sleep doesn’t come right away. This change in thinking can surprisingly free the way to sleep.
Relaxation techniques
Relaxation techniques help calm an overactive nervous system and prepare the body for falling asleep. They’re worth practicing regularly, not only when sleep doesn’t come.
4-7-8 breathing technique
This is a simple and effective breathing exercise:
- Breathe in through the nose for four seconds
- Hold the breath for seven seconds
- Breathe out through the mouth for eight seconds
- Repeat 3–4 times
The long exhalation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the body’s “rest and recovery” system. This calms the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and signals to the brain that it’s safe to let go.
Progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation means alternately tensing and relaxing muscle groups. Start from the toes and move upward: tense a muscle group for 5–10 seconds, release, and feel the relaxation. This technique helps recognize the body’s tension states and consciously release them. Many don’t notice how tense the body is until they begin to consciously relax it.
Body scan
Body scan is a mindfulness-based exercise in which you go through different parts of the body in your mind one at a time, from toes to the top of the head. The intention isn’t to change anything, but to observe. How do the soles of the feet feel? What about the calves? How does the breath feel in the belly? This exercise takes attention away from spinning thoughts and anchors it in the body, which calms the mind.
Managing worries in the evening
One of the most common reasons that falling asleep is difficult is that the mind starts processing the day’s worries as soon as external stimuli disappear. The bed is a quiet place, and in silence, worries get space.
Worry list
Try writing a “worry list” an hour before bedtime. Write on paper everything that’s on your mind: unfinished tasks, tomorrow’s challenges, general worry. Write next to each worry one concrete step you can take the next day. This simple exercise helps the mind let go because the things have been “saved” and don’t need to be kept in mind overnight.
Worry time
If worries repeatedly take over your mind in the evening, try reserving 15–20 minutes of “worry time” during the day. Choose a time not close to bedtime (for example, 6 p.m.). Use this time for conscious processing of worries. If worries come later in the evening, say to yourself: “This has been processed” or “I’ll come back to this tomorrow during worry time.” With practice, the brain learns that nighttime isn’t worry-processing time.
Exercise and daily routines
What you do during the day significantly affects how you sleep at night.
Exercise is one of the most effective sleep improvement methods. Regular exercise deepens sleep and makes falling asleep easier. Strenuous exercise should be avoided 2–3 hours before bedtime, however, because it raises body temperature and activates the nervous system. Light walking or stretching in the evening, on the other hand, can help relaxation.
Natural light in the morning helps regulate the daily rhythm. Try to be exposed to bright light during the first hour after waking. This signals to the brain that the day has begun and helps melatonin secretion start at the right time in the evening.
Daytime naps can be a friend or enemy. If you suffer from insomnia, avoiding long naps is recommended because they reduce sleep pressure in the evening. If naps are necessary, limit them to 20 minutes and take them before 2 p.m.
Read how Aichologist can help you sleep better.
When self-help methods aren’t enough
Self-help methods are a good starting point, but they aren’t always enough. If you’ve consistently tried the methods mentioned above for a few weeks without significant improvement, it’s time to seek professional help.
It’s especially worth seeking help when:
- Insomnia has continued for more than a month and significantly disrupts your daily life
- The insomnia involves strong anxiety or other symptoms
- Insomnia affects work capacity or relationships
- You’ve started to rely on alcohol or medications for falling asleep
Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is the most research-backed effective form of treatment for chronic insomnia. It’s short-term (typically 4–8 sessions) and teaches lasting skills for sleep management.
If you need support in releasing thoughts when sleep doesn’t come, try Aichologist. The AI-based conversation partner is available 24/7 and can help calm the mind those nights when thoughts give no rest.
